Knock Knock How to Traumatize Your Children

Knock Knock  How to Traumatize Your Children Author Knock Knock (Firm)
ISBN-10 1601063091
Release 2011-05-01
Pages 144
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Knock Knock How to Traumatize Your Children has been writing in one form or another for most of life. You can find so many inspiration from Knock Knock How to Traumatize Your Children also informative, and entertaining. Click DOWNLOAD or Read Online button to get full Knock Knock How to Traumatize Your Children book for free.



How to Traumatize Your Children

How to Traumatize Your Children Author Knock Knock
ISBN-10 1601060386
Release 2007-10
Pages 191
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While it's inevitable that all of us will traumatize our children, even the most committed parents have lacked guidance in doing so deliberately and effectively. Don't leave your most important job to instinct and gut reactions--whether you want to traumatize your children with the same techniques your parents used or you prefer to choose an entirely new approach, this book will show you the way!



Experimenting with Babies

Experimenting with Babies Author Shaun Gallagher
ISBN-10 9781101599693
Release 2013-10-01
Pages 224
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Babies can be a joy—and hard work. Now, they can also be a 50-in-1 science project kit! This fascinating and hands-on guide shows you how to re-create landmark scientific studies on cognitive, motor, language, and behavioral development—using your own bundle of joy as the research subject. Simple, engaging, and fun for both baby and parent, each project sheds light on how your baby is acquiring new skills—everything from recognizing faces, voices, and shapes to understanding new words, learning to walk, and even distinguishing between right and wrong. Whether your little research subject is a newborn, a few months old, or a toddler, these simple, surprising projects will help you see the world through your baby’s eyes—and discover ways to strengthen newly acquired skills during your everyday interactions.



How to Mess Up Your Child s Life

How to Mess Up Your Child s Life Author Olivia Bruner
ISBN-10 9780446543736
Release 2009-03-25
Pages 300
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There are several people in life you don't want to hear say, "Oops!" Your barber, your mechanic, and your surgeon are three that come to mind. So do your parents and spouse. And yet, few of us put much thought into how we can create happier homes. Now, Christian parenting experts Kurt and Olivia Bruner have created a tongue-in-cheek but invaluable guide that helps parents move past "oops" to intentional, fun, and faith-filled parenting. In a way that keeps parents engaged amid the nonstop grind of jobs and household chores, the Bruners walk parents through the steps in creating a plan for infusing faith dynamics into the home.



All My Friends Are Dead

All My Friends Are Dead Author Avery Monsen
ISBN-10 9781452135380
Release 2013-10-01
Pages 96
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If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable.



Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation

Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation Author Elizabeth Beckwith
ISBN-10 9780061939686
Release 2009-10-06
Pages 256
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Popular actress and stand-up comedienne Elizabeth Beckwith gives us the parenting guide to end all parenting guides: Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation. A frequent guest on The Late, Late Show and one of seven comics featured in the Time magazine article, “Funny: The Next Generation,” Beckwith now puts forth a hilarious new parenting philosophy that would shock Dr. Spock and traumatize T. Berry Brazelton. Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation is a riotously irreverent take on contemporary child rearing.



Safe Baby Handling Tips

Safe Baby Handling Tips Author David Sopp
ISBN-10 9780762456581
Release 2015-03-17
Pages 36
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A hilarious parenting book illustrated with pictures.



Toddlers Are A holes

Toddlers Are A  holes Author Bunmi Laditan
ISBN-10 9780761185758
Release 2015-04-07
Pages 176
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Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.



Parenting Is Easy

Parenting Is Easy Author Sara Given
ISBN-10 9780761187134
Release 2015-10-06
Pages 176
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Imagine a world where pregnant women are always upbeat and glowing, newborns sleep on cue, toddlers love to have their teeth brushed, and teenagers gaze adoringly at their parents. Impossible, you say? Not according to advertisers who flood the web with stock photos of perfect parents and children. They’d have you believe that parenting is a piece of cake, and every significant moment of family life takes place on a spotless white couch. So when Sara Given, a real mother of a real toddler, saw a picture of a radiant new mother in a cute little sundress breastfeeding her newborn in the middle of a golf course, she finally had enough. She launched a Tumblr, which is now visited by tens of thousands of new parents looking for a daily pick-me-up. Because what better way is there to deal with the stress and strain of being a new parent than laughter? The perfect gift of cheer and solidarity, Parenting Is Easy exploits the disconnect between these preposterous photos and what happens in real life, and makes every reader laugh out loud—and feel better, too, because we’re in on the joke.



You Have to Fucking Eat

You Have to Fucking Eat Author Adam Mansbach
ISBN-10 9781782116370
Release 2014-11-12
Pages 32
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From the author of the international best seller GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP comes a book about the other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving and deeply cathartic, You Have to Fucking Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving mums and dads new, old, grand- and expectant a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem. You probably shouldn't read it to your children.



K is for Knifeball

K is for Knifeball Author Jory John
ISBN-10 9781452121260
Release 2012-09-14
Pages 80
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From the authors of the breakout bestseller All my friends are dead. and in the humorous vein of Go the F**k to Sleep comes a laugh-out-loud collection of bad advice that turns the children's alphabet book on its head. Adorable illustrated characters lead readers down a path of poor decision-making, and alphabetical, rhyming couplets offer terrible life lessons in which O is for opening things with your teeth, F is for setting Daddy's wallet on fire, and R is for Raccoon (but definitely not for rabies). With plenty of playfully disastrous choices lurking around every corner, this compendium of black humor may be terrible for actual children, but it's perfect for the common-senseless child in all adults.



How to Swear Around the World

How to Swear Around the World Author Jay Sacher
ISBN-10 9781452121833
Release 2012-09-07
Pages 128
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This essential phrasebook collects the most colorful, explicit, and outrageous ways to tell people off in every part of the world. Featuring dozens of different languages, the sayings range from everyday swears to family curses to expressions for X-rated relations with animals. Phonetic pronunciation is provided so that readers can curse like a native, and handy illustrations provide visual guides to these foreign exclamations. Perfect for the international traveler who may need to wish an enemy a painful death, insult a person's grandmother, or accuse someone's mother of having intimate relations with bears in the forest.



Sh tty Mum

Sh tty Mum Author Mary Ann Zoellner
ISBN-10 9781444755213
Release 2012-09-13
Pages 224
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Children. They want everything and they want it now. They don't care about killing your sex life or the way they add six inches to the length of your breasts, and they sure as hell don't give a sh*t that you only slept four hours last night. Any person, physical need or dream that takes you away from them for even five seconds is their natural enemy and must be crushed with loud, endless cries. This book is about how to survive babies, and what they grow into: children. It's about shortcuts and parenting with 40% effort. You'll learn how to ignore, avoid, threaten and lie in easy-to-skim-while-locked-in-the-bathroom mini-chapters, plus valuable 'How to Fake it' tips to help you through those days when there isn't enough sh*tty advice in the world. We get you. We get your little dictators. And we can help.



Lies They Teach in School

Lies They Teach in School Author Herb Reich
ISBN-10 9781620873458
Release 2012-05-01
Pages 176
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It is a cliché that history is written by the victors, but what we accept as history is replete with stories of great men and events that either never happened or didn’t happen the way we were told they did. Such items are taught in schools. They are passed down to us by our families and friends and have become part of our shared cultural knowledge. And they are wrong. Touching on a number of topics— including history, current events, government, sports, geography, and popular culture—Lies They Teach in School exposes errors that have been perpetuated for far too long. It will enlighten and entertain. It will certainly start a number of arguments, and settle a few others.



Objects of Desire

Objects of Desire Author Rita Catinella Orrell
ISBN-10 0764351044
Release 2016-03-28
Pages 272
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The world of erotic product design is revealed in this curated showcase of over 100 beautifully crafted objects and the creative minds behind them. The latest adult toys, jewelry, and accessories from leading companies, as well as intriguing prototypes, are featured. Each product, from high-tech gadgets to handcrafted pieces of art, is presented with concise descriptions in a minimal graphic format that emphasizes the flowing curves, materiality, and overall design of the products. Once taboo, sex toys are in the midst of a design revolution. Including a foreword by Sarah Forbes, curator at New York City s Museum of Sex, and in-depth interviews with leading sex bloggers, shop owners, and designers, the book will appeal to both fans of good design as well as "lovers" of good design interested in acquiring these pieces for their own collections."



All My Friends Are Still Dead

All My Friends Are Still Dead Author Jory John
ISBN-10 9781452114040
Release 2012-02-24
Pages 108
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From the authors of the breakout best seller All my friends are dead comes a brand-new illustrated compendium of the humorous existential ruminations of people, animals, legendary monsters, and inanimate objects.



The Complete Manual of Things that Might Kill You

The Complete Manual of Things that Might Kill You Author
ISBN-10 1601060351
Release 2007
Pages 191
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Hypochondriacs have long had to satisfy their needs for self-diagnosis with medical reference materials written for the masses, but this revolutionary book is dedicated entirely to the hypochondriac's unique perspective on health. The world's worst maladies, conveniently organized by symptom (real or imagined), will ignite even the mildest hypochondriac's fantasy life. We're all going to die of something—why not choose an ailment that's rare and hard to pronounce?